Have you ever prided yourself on not being forgetful or having a great memory for things?
Well, I always thought I was SO good at recognizing faces. I mean, I could recognize a child star as an adult actor in a movie 20+ years later. I will not brag about that anymore…
I was at a friend’s summer party and a person that I didn’t recognize at all, walked up to me and hugged me and asked all sorts of personal questions about my baby and my family. Honestly, I was a little taken aback that this woman that I didn’t know was so familiar with me and knew so much of my personal information. Over the next hour, lots of people came and went in and out of conversations that I was having and this girl stuck around the whole time. She excused herself to go to the bathroom and so, finally free from her, I ran around and started asking people who she was—BUT NOBODY KNEW HER! Somebody had to invite her right?! Who knew her?! (I even had a flash in my mind of ‘did God send an angel my way’???) So fast-forward to the end of the evening and I’m saying my goodbyes and the girl comes up to me and very sweetly said how much she enjoyed catching up and how she’d love to stay in touch so we can talk more often. Not wanting to show my discomfort, I said “Oh sure! Yeah! That’d be great!” So naturally, she asked for us to trade emails. I nervously told her that mine was super easy; it was just my name at klmp.com. She put it in her phone and expectantly looked down at my hands, holding my cell phone and said “Well, mine’s really easy too; it’s just my first and last name at gmail.” I hesitated to put it in since I had NO IDEA what her name was. She asked, “What’s up?” And I smiled at her and fumbled the words, “…uh I wasn’t sure how to spell your last name is all…” She laughed: “Oh c’mon Katie!” I awkwardly laughed for a second and then, thinking of a quick recovery, coolly remarked “Well, I forgot your last name. Silly huh?” Happily, she said, “Oh! It’s Jones.” (Name changed for privacy purposes, but it was EQUALLY as simple.) I smiled, feeling sweat forming on my forehead and stood there holding my cell phone because I still couldn’t type in anything because I STILL DIDN’T KNOW HER NAME! Awkward silence…Awkward pause-holding on for too long…
“Uhhh, so how do you spell your first name again?” Her smile faded almost instantaneously. She folded her arms over her chest and asked, “You don’t know my name do you?” I didn’t even need to answer, the silence said it all. “Did you even know who I was when I came up to you earlier?!” THERE WAS NO ESCAPE. “Well…” I offered. She then berated me in the very spot that we had been so chummy hours earlier. When she jolted off, I felt bad and then the hostess walked up to me. “WHO WAS THAT?!” I basically shouted at her. “Who? Sue? You guys talk for hours at every party.” I just threw up my hands in surrender. My friend, noticing my angst, said, “She used to have fire-engine red hair?” The light finally clicked on! “That was ‘Fiery-Red’?! I didn’t recognize her with her hair darkened! Oh my gosh, I love her!” It all started coming back to me. I referred to her as Fiery-Red because I had never been introduced to her properly so I made up a nickname. We did talk every party, every year for the past 5 years! I think she might have even been wearing the same dress from the year before too cause it ALL started to look too familiar… Oooo that.was.BAD…
Story: Last night around 230am I was happily sleeping..Ever finally was sleeping through the night...it was nice and cool in the house...not a sound around us...EXCEPT for a crinkling I heard coming from the hallway. Obviously Mr BigStuff had gotten into something but I just assumed it was an empty plastic grocery bag or something like that and he was chewing on it. Instead of getting up and checking, I went back to sleep...
Early this morning when I poked my head in to check on Everlyse I smelled a pungeant aroma. I figured that maybe Ever had had a diaper explosion. So I slowly creeped into her room and as I got close to her crib I stepped on something..SQUISH..and a slight crinkle. And upon inspection I figured out what that noise was that I ignored a few hours ago..Biggie had gotten one of Ever's overly-full dirty diapers and had been dragging it around, ripping it up and I'm sure eating some of the contents. As soon as I stepped in it, jingle jingle jingle here comes Biggie in the room and as soon as he saw me with the diaper he ran for his life!
Verse: Matt 15:27 "She replied, “That’s true, Lord, but even dogs are allowed to eat the scraps that fall beneath their masters’ table.”
Story: So at a company I worked for a few years ago, I was at a meeting and we were discussing promotional posters that were made to communicate our business's ideology to the public. One of the posters I was very attached to because I had come up with the theme for it and as per usual, I thought that we had a professional outside artist create the posters. At the meeting, our boss asked for opinions on the posters and when we were presented that specific one, everyone went quiet. I looked at it disappointedly and seeing that no one else was saying anything, opened my big mouth. I went on to say many negative things about that poster such as "there's nothing good about this poster's representation"; "looking at this, it's like I took a sedative"; "I'm actually getting sleepy gazing at this"; "from the colors to the font to the pictures..it's not a good message". Well, all my other coworkers just sat there wide-eyed and that's when I found out why..my boss cleared his throat and announced that my coworker sitting NEXT TO ME had created this poster and had worked pretty hard on it. There was no way out of it! There was NO WAY out of what I had just said! My face just burned red and I apologized to them after the meeting. I have learned my lesson in "tact".
Verse: "Won’t you ever stop blowing hot air? What makes you keep on talking?" Job 16:3
Story: I frequent Main St Market here in Rapid. It's a store that has a lot of organic and natural options for not only food but bathroom products, vitamins and supplements, baking supplies and such. Well, in an attempt to find something to help my hair grow in thicker, I was looking for a natural product that would help... Truthfully, my hair is falling out in handfuls now-a-days so I'm a little sensitive to people knowing about that. As I was perusing a back wall that's all clearance stuff, I found a couple of products all about growing your hair in thicker and more shiny and such. Of course the pics on the fronts of some of those boxes aren't shy about detailing what the product is for. As I was handling some of the boxes and juggling some groceries as well, a woman I know came over and surprised me. I quickly tried to push the little boxes back up on the shelf as I made short, small-talk to draw her eyes away from what I was looking at. Now because this lady-friend is really into natural cures and health, she asked what I was looking for because she bet she could help me find it. I smiled awkwardly and just said, "Oh? No, no, I was just browsing ya know? I was kind-of looking for some vitamins I had heard about that...could help..me...with.." And as I was still struggling to get those products back on that wall faster, I hit a few bottles next to them and they fell in between she and I on the floor. "Oh I'll help you!" She said as we picked up the bottles and we both simultaneously saw what I was "looking at" that "could help me"...TESTOSTERONE!!!! All the bottles were for a natural, organic supplement for Testosterone!!!! She quickly handed me the bottles and said she was going to 'leave me to finish my shopping' and I'm pretty sure she left the store. OMGOSH!!!!!!!!!! I am not taking testosterone!
(Bet you never thought you'd hear that outta me!)
Verse: "They said, 'You have always been honest with us. You have not made it hard for us, or taken anything from any man’s hand.'" 1 Sam 12:4
Comment: If I had just been upfront from the get-go and not acted so suspicious, perhaps I wouldn't have a person thinking that the Youth Pastor's Wife/Christian Radio DJ is taking testosterone pills!
Story: I think most of you know that we have had some pretty heavy rains in the Black Hills over the past few weeks but especially over Memorial Day weekend and the days that followed. I was so happy and felt so secure during the heavy rains, even when our backyard looked like a moat, because I could hear both sump pumps goin strong and we needed the moisture so badly. I went to pick up my daughter at daycare and Mandi, a caregiver asked if we were experiencing any flooding at our house. I smiled and said no. That with how our home and the drainage is set up, we wouldn't flood at all. Ever and I got home and I decided to take her down to the basement to play on the floor while I did laundry. As I walked into our family room I noticed that the carpet felt cold..then my socks started to feel wet..I was about ready to scream at Biggie for wetting the floor; but it wasn't Biggie. I turned on the light and yep, the basement had flooded. One of sump pumps had died in the night evidently. And while every room had been minorly flooded, we had peace over it. A LOT of times in life, we have NO control over the elements and things around us but we do have control over how we deal with the events that occur. God gave us complete peace. Even when I was throwing away a bunch of pictures and memorabilia, it didn't really matter. It is what it is and that's all there is to it. Just have to keep moving forward and sometimes, leave other things behind. It'll work out cause I know that God's got our back.
Verse: Ps 32:6 "That’s why all the faithful should pray to you during troubled times,so that a great flood of water won’t reach them."
Comment: I am reminded over and over about what really doesn't matter in this life. Thanks God.
Story: This week we are trying to feed Everlyse her first "food" from a spoon. My mom is also visiting so she has gotten a chance to have fun with the baby, including helping her learn how to blow raspberries. Ever has become a pro at this now! Last night, mom and I were attempting to spoon some rice cereal into Ever's mouth and of course she spit it out over and over again. We finally got a good spoonful into her mouth and she just grimaced and wouldn't swallow it. Mom and I tried to coerce her to swallow it and were leaning toward her when she suddenly raspberried at us, spraying the rice cereal all over our faces! Each time we attempted to feed her another spoonful after that she raspberried it out again. Well that ended that experiment!
Verse: Job 30:10 "They detest me and keep their distance; they do not hesitate to spit in my face."
Comment: I'll try again at another time but I have a feeling that she's going to do the same thing!
Story: Whilst driving to work this morning I noticed that the roads glistened in my headlights and I figured that is was just a wet road due to melting snow and such. My car doesn't grip the road very well so I at first was cautious and was going below the speed limit. Then I looked at what time it was and I started to speed up. I reached a dark intersection where I applied my brakes and started to slide! I fish-tailed a bit and then straightened out to slide straight through the red light and into the intersection. Blessedly, the truck coming at me from the left had better control than I did and went around my car instead of barreling straight into it. That black ice is dangerous! Lesson learned about overestimating the roads. The interesting thing is that I also learned a faith lesson this morning. You see, right before I hit that black ice I was questioning whether I should be thanking God for the safe road travel this morning or not, if it was too insignificant to thank Him for. Nothing is too insignificant to God! Thank you Lord for safe travels this morning!
Verse: " Because I prayed: “Don’t let them celebrate over me or exalt themselves over me when my foot slips,”
Comment: Praise the Lord from Whom ALL blessings flow!
Story: Another story of Everlyse and me. Last night Ever was having some sort of fit where she just wouldn't stop crying and she had everything she needed, fed and diapered and a friendly face. So I laid her on my bed and started trying all sorts of things to get her to stop balling. I repeated some of her moaning words back at her to try to distract her, "Baa baa ba da da" she cried so I said them back. Then I started saying them in rhythm and using different intonations in my voice. Then I started dancing ridiculously to the words, disco mostly, kicking feet up high and waving arms all over the place and jumping toward her and jumping back and this went on for 20 minutes. I was somewhat wearing her down with my ridiculous dance and song act when a man's voice behind me said, "Hi!" In the midst of one of my Baa Baa ba da da chants I screamed and almost completely jumped out of my skin! Kyle had opened the front door, put his stuff down on the kitchen table and walked behind me in the bedroom without me even noticing! I started nonsensically yelling at him for scaring me and of course the baby started crying again. I can't even imagine how ridiculous I looked from behind!
Verse: 1 Peter 4:12 "Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you."
Comment: Oh the ridiculous mannerisms you adopt as a parent!
Story: My little baby Ever LOVES being on the changing table. It is literally her favorite place to be and I'm not exactly sure why, but once you lay her down on it she starts kicking those little legs so fast and waving her arms and laughing like it's the most fun. Well the other day I was changing her diaper and decided to have some fun with her, making faces and funny noises to get her to laugh and giving her raspberries on her tummy. She seemed really intrigued by the raspberries, having never had that sensation before. I kept tilting my head toward her and blowing on that little belly of hers and seeing her smiling reaction, it was fun....UNTIL I heard water trickling next to my ear. I straightened up and saw a fountain spraying out of my child! I had nothing nearby to blot the leak and so she just kept going and kicking and it got all over her and up her back and then I felt wetness on my neck too. My ponytail had been doused in the fountain when I was raspberrying her! Throughout this whole experience she just kept laughing and kicking like it was tremendous fun!
Verse: Ps 55:8 "I would hurry to my place of shelter, far from the tempest and storm."
Comment: Will I ever know if it was just coincidence or was it the raspberries that did it?!
Story: Mr BigStuff really enjoys dancing on his hind legs and jumping from furniture and running crazily throughout the house. I haven't been as energetic lately and so he hasn't been played with like he's used to, I've felt really bad about that. I decided that I was going to exert some energy and play with Biggie for a while after work yesterday and count it as my workout for the day. Well we threw around his favorite Sharky and we raced around the house together and then we played tag. Biggie would run from me until I tagged him and then ran the opposite direction, where he would chase me. We did this once or twice when I tagged Biggie far down our hallway and shouted "You're it!" I ran away from him giggling like a little kid and looked down behind me and there he was on my heels when WHAP!!!! I ran right into the corner of the wall in front on me! I got such a goose egg on my noggin from that! Had to make a deal with Biggie, no more Tag until after the baby's born.
Verse: “But watch out! Be careful never to forget what you yourself have seen..." Deut 4:9...etc.
Story: I went garage saleing with my husband and some friends last Saturday and then did various activities afterwards like grocery shopping and dog-walking and such. So my day started before the sun was up around 5am when my internal alarm went off and ended with returning home around 4pm. Now I had been all over Rapid throughout the day, lots of "hot spots" where hundreds of people could see me and this just makes the humiliation all the worse... Being pregnant, you even outgrow your maternity clothes towards the end of term and nothing exactly fits quite right anymore. Recently, I've gotten used to feeling a little uncomfortable on a regular basis. When I grabbed some clothes to wear early in the morning, in the dark, I grabbed a band tshirt and some black maternity pants. After getting dressed I noticed how strange my pants felt as I walked but I chalked it all up to my body changing and gaining weight and such. So I just endured the discomfort. I endured it all day, everywhere I went. Upon returning home however, I noticed why I had felt SO uncomfortable all day long...my pants were on backwards!!!!!!!!! NO ONE told me, not even my husband. The pockets were in the front!
Verse: "You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing. You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with joy,..." Ps 30:11
Comment: How could NO ONE tell me I was wearing my pants backwards all day long?!?! I know I know, on the other hand, how could I not notice all-day...
Story: I have felt like during this pregnancy I have been eating pretty well and keeping myself up on exercise, not a binge-eater or cravings-eater at all. Well, that was until the chocolate ganache owl cake flew into my life! At my church's baby shower for me and baby girl, my friend Jessica had made a gluten-free owl cake that was insanely good! As in, you would pay $100 for this cake! (and I totally would-have!) Well, I got to take half of it home with me that night and I found myself drawn to it, EVERY, DAY. My husband around that time started to encourage me by saying how proud he was of me for eating right and exercising and I started to feel that twinge of discomfort because I was NOT planning on slowing down in eating that cake! I was more afraid I think, that he would eventually try it and then be eating it too! So I started being more sneaky in my devouring of the owl cake...each day that the diameter got smaller, I pushed it further back in the fridge to hide it. Finally I got to the final piece, which was too small to cut into 2 pieces but too big to eat on its own..or was it?!..I had just finished dishes so I didn't want to dirty any more and therefore, that big final slice of chocolate heaven ended up being carried in my hand as I walked around the house, finished chores and snacking. That's when my husband came home! I didn't want him to see me eating like that so I jumped into a room and started eating it faster. "Katie? Where are you?" he called and I answered, "Mmm in thhh cmmmputrr rmm!" I could hear his footsteps getting closer so I jumped into our bedroom, being followed on my heels by Mr BigStuff who wanted some cake too! Kyle heard Biggie's jingling collar in our room and walked in, "Are you ok?" he asked. I couldn't run and hide anymore, I turned around to reveal a chocolately hand raised up, with full cheeks and ganache smeared all over my mouth. Kyle laughed and asked, "Whaaaa?" I told him I didn't want him to see me like this.
Verse: Prov 25:27 "It’s not good to eat too much honey, and it’s not good to seek honors for yourself."
Comment: Upon looking at myself in the mirror, I appeared to have a fudgy mustache and beard!
Story: Prepare to be horrified...So as strange as it is, my husband and I have 2 different tooth pastes. I actually take mine with me in my purse (primarily because I get up hours before my hubby) and can therefore, brush when I get to work sometimes. Also, he has to have a specific brand; me? I just need the cheap-o dollar store brand. I had gotten a new tube of toothpaste and set it on the vanity to use later that night while my husband's was safely tucked away inside our vanity mirror. That night I couldn't find my toothpaste so I used my hubby's. Well, a day or two later I still hadn't found it and then I looked on the floor...fallen in between the dirty plunger and the toilet scrubber was my toothpaste. I was so grossed out since days of bacteria-manifestation had been occuring, that I just left it there and asked my husband to get rid of it for me. Well, another day or two later, my husband went grocery shopping and wouldn't you know it, a new tube of my cheap-o tooth paste was sitting on the vanity. How sweet right? I considered how thoughtful my husband was that night as I brushed. And then the next morning as I got ready for work, a thought ran into my head and I ran into the bedroom and woke my husband around 530am. "Hey, hey! Are you awake?! That tube of my toothpaste that's on the vanity..that's brand new right? You didn't pick up the one from the floor that's surely covered in bacteria so I could use it and then wipe my face off with a filthy, germ-infested hand right?!" With one eye open my husband wearily retorted, 'huh?' I said I'd talk to him later and left. When I got home from work I asked him the same questions and his answer was, 'there's no toilet bacteria in the toothpaste..you're being paranoid.' My face flushed. "Right Kyle, the germs are on the outside of the tube, which I was holding and squeezing then wiping that hand across my wet face and mouth moments later!" He kind-of smirked and then ran away knowing I couldn't catch him! I got my answer. I might as well have just wiped that dirty plunger all over my face.
Verse: Ps 91:6 "Do not dread the disease that stalks in darkness, nor the disaster that strikes at midday."
Comment: Ulghhhhh....I still am getting nauseated when I'm in the bathroom because of this.
Story: I am a procrastinator by nature but last Sunday, I was so proud of myself for getting up extra early to get ready for my Hills Alive presentation at 1st Assembly. I laid out my clothes the night before, made notes and bulletpoints to rehearse, and because I was so keyed-up, I even checked on google maps to make absolutely sure I had the right location in mind. Well, thank goodness I looked up the church directions online because I was going to head to the wrong church! The directions I printed lead me to Black Hawk and so I left even earlier to be sure I would get to the service early. 1st sign of problems: the road listed that the church was located on didn't have a street sign! Went right past where I should have turned and drove for about 2 mi before hitting a dead end. 2nd Sign of problems: After finding the "right road", there were no addresses that went into the thousands, hence the church address. After following that road into the countryside, I turned around again and stopped at a gas station. Now 10am, when the service was set to start, I asked the attendant if the address was by the waterslides (my 1st instinct that I didn't trust earlier). She said "yeah" and explained how to get there. I replied that unfortunately I knew how to get there. Drove angerly, yelling at God on the way to 1st Assembly. Got there, walked in, expecting to embarrassingly explain my absence and see if I can still present at the end...I ended up having 5 minutes until I had to go on! WOW; still made it! God humbled me greatly at that moment...why didn't I trust Him even when it looked hopeless? How many times do I have to learn that lesson?
Verse: Ps 107:4 "Some wandered in the wilderness, lost and homeless."
Comment: Oh my goodness?! Can you believe that craziness?!
Story: You all know how much I hate spiders IN my house but for some reason they sure do love living in my humble abode. The other night I was turning on our little window air-conditioner before retiring and when I reached over to set the timer, a fat, tan spider crawled out from under it and creeped right by my hand! So the first thing I do is swing my hand away and give a little screech! And it kept on the move, fast, so I grabbed the closest item to smack it with (a brand new dvd) and commenced to smacking the front of my air conditioner. After some very hard swats, that little vermin was still alive! He had crept in between some slots. Errrr! Well, I am not going to sleep with a nasty spider sitting-in-wait right beside my bed. I got up and retrieved a huge canister of hair spray from the bathroom, turned off the air conditioner, and then started spraying at the spider. He then came out of hiding and was tightening up, which is good, unfortunately around that time is when my rotating desk fan turned to blow at me and hairspray flew into my mouth and eyes!! Yeah, I forgot to turn that one off. So now I'm coughing and gagging BUT that spider lied dead on the floor. At least, I hope he was...
Verse: Is 42:19 "Who is as blind as my own people, my servant? Who is as deaf as my messenger? Who is as blind as my chosen people, the servant of the Lord?"
Comment: Who also blinds themselves almost on a regular basis?! LOL
Story: In usual procrastination-fashion, I was running around the house last week, trying to multi-task myself into a frenzy evidently, and just making things worse for myself. I was gathering items for our church's VBS that weekend that were scattered everywhere around the house, trying to get Mr BigStuff back in the house from barking constantly, changing the laundry, changing the dishes, killing gnats!, and wrapping a birthday present for a person I would see that night also--all before leaving the house to get to a meeting on time!! You can imagine how crazed I probably looked with all that going on. Well, I realized I had forgotten to take my pre-natal vitamins that day so I reached into the fridge as I'm yelling at Biggie for like the 100th time in 10 minutes to grab my vitamins and a drink. An arm-full of dirty laundry on one hip and yelling out the door at the dog, I grab my vitamins and throw them in my mouth hastily and then I grab some seltzer water. I somehow opened the bottle with my other hand and try to take a quick swig--that was a bad idea. A flood of carbonation filled my mouth and up my nasal passages followed by a bit of water--well that choked me a bit! I spit hard into my open fridge and dropped the bottle and the dirty laundry on the floor, gasping. Of course this is when Mr BigStuff decides to come back into house and tries to drink off the floor and eat my vitamins. That event sure stopped me in my tracks!
Verse: Hab 2:3 "This vision is for a future time. It describes the end, and it will be fulfilled. If it seems slow in coming, wait patiently, for it will surely take place. It will not be delayed."
Comment: I have got to learn to SLOW DOWN. Or God might just make me slow down!
Story: The one thing that's been easy for me to eat during my pregnancy has been Lucky Charms. I don't know why, it just works. Well, when I don't think I have time to eat at my house in the mornings, I just make a bowl of cereal and take it with me to work. I do eat it on the way to work BUT I only eat at red lights. Today I "nested" a very full bowl of LC's next to me on the passenger seat, nestled into one of my sweaters. I have never spilled a drop before but today for some reason I turned onto Mt Rushmore Rd and the whole bowl spilled all over the front seats and that area in between the driver and passenger seat. It was such a huge, milky mess! I still haven't gotten to clean it yet! Hopefully by leaving the windows open the birds in our area will take a hint and eat up the mess for me! (All that lucky charm goodness---wasted!)
Verse: Micah 7:8 "Do not gloat over me, my enemies! For though I fall, I will rise again. Though I sit in darkness, the LORD will be my light."
Comment: I KNOW I have at least a few friends who are laughing at me since they know how desperate I am for my lucky charms! And look what happens with my obsession!
Story: One summer when my mom was going to be home late from work, she called and asked my eldest brother Adam to make some dinner. He chose to make green beans and mac n cheese. Seems simple enough doesn't it? Well, I don't know if it was just a lack of knowledge or cooking skills but when Adam had me try the mac n cheese it tasted horrible! He had been working on it for like a half hour already so I assumed he was making sure it was good...WRONG. I spit the spoonful out in the garbage and grabbed the box, "Adam, do you put in all the ingredients?!" He retorted loudly, "Yeah!" So I began to read off the ingredients to him. "Noodles? Cheese?" He just rolled his eyes at me. "How 'bout...water? Butter? Milk?!" Then Adam looked curiously into the distance for a second. "What?" I asked him. That's when he busted out laughing. He forgot the milk. ULGHHHHHH!!!
Verse: Gen 27:35 "But Isaac said, “Your brother was here, and he tricked me. He has taken away your blessing.”
Comment: Yeah, Adam has never been trusted to make dinner for me again.
Story: As someone with curly, long hair I try to keep it naturally curly at least a few times a month. Which means that I can't brush it after I wash it otherwise it will lose its curl. (I'll just scrunch it with some sort of curl spray.) This also means that vast quantities of hair fall out and get stuck on my jackets and sweaters throughout the day. Result? Hairy back OR hair balls forming in crevices of my jacket, including the armpit-areas. The last time I visited the supermarket I was stretching and reaching for items on upper shelves and generally saying hi to people--I noticed I got some strange glances and a few snicker-ers. Well, when I loaded my car I saw why. After closing the back door of my car I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the window and you couldn't help but see the big, brunette hair balls peering out from the armpits of my white sweater. I could feel my face turning red as I started ripping hair off my sweater and picturing what it must have looked like to the other customers. Many of you are thinking, 'why doesn't she just keep a lint brush with her?' Cause I go through them like breathing! I should just start stock-piling them.
Verse: Judges 16:22 "But before long, his hair began to grow back."
Comment: When you think you've embarrassed yourself today at work or out in public think to yourself, could it be as bad as Katie's hairy problem story???! I need to get everything
Story: I haven't been able to sleep very well since I got pregnant so, there are some mornings where I just can't get up. Yesterday was one of those days. I hit snooze on my alarm so many times that it finally stopped going off. After sleeping an extra 45 minutes past the initial alarm, I awoke with a start and looked at the time...6:01!!!! As you know, I'm usually at the station and on the air by 615am. I jumped up in a panic and grabbed pants and socks from the day before and my favorite shirt off of the "clean clothes" pile and ran out the door. I raced to work and although looking pretty haggard, I made it. After being on the air for a while, I visited the lavatory during a break and noticed that my shirt had a strange off-colored circle on the front of it. I looked at it and then smelled it--ULGH!!! My dog had peed on my favorite shirt!!! Probably when we were folding laundry on the floor and he needed to go out or something. Ahhhhh!!!!! And yesterday was one of those days where I could not leave the office so I wore my coat all day long and that gross shirt! EWWWWW!! Of course I changed when I got home. Yuck.
Verse: Joshua 7:10 "But the LORD said to Joshua, “Get up! Why are you lying on your face like this?"
Comment: If I would've gotten up on time I would've noticed what was wrong with my shirt!
Story: I have morning sickness pretty bad, 24/7, and I noticed something that holds the nausea at bay is dried fruit but specifically, dried mango--one of my favorites! But before church on Sunday I couldn't find any dried mango in my house. I must have eaten all of it earlier that week. I knew I didn't want to pass out or "refund" onstage at church so I kept looking for any fruit I could eat and that's when I found it. A bag of dried mango from Christmas that was shoved in the back of my pantry. It was browning, it was slimy, it was gross-looking. But there was no mold...so I took it with me. All throughout church I nibbled on the old, gross mango pieces. I figured it was the lesser of 2 evils: either "refunding" due to not eating or maybe "refunding" due to old fruit. Well, I made it through church at least! And threw away the bag afterward. That was disgusting, like an episode of Fear Factor!
Verse: Gen 3:2 “Of course we may eat fruit from the trees in the garden,” the woman replied.
Comment: Yeah, of COURSE we can eat of the fruits in the garden~~maybe if they're not slimy and browning.
Story: I completely forgot to make a soup for an after-church soup n sandwich supper at my house for my small group. I know; how could I forget?! The event's at my own house! Be that as it may, I had people ringing the doorbell before I had a chance to even look around for something to make. I took people's coats and food and escorted them to the basement all the while trying to spy ingredients I could use. So in between hosting duties and cooking, I started grabbing items one by one out of my pantry. In haste, I just started opening anything that looked like it "could" work and threw it into the crockpot. The soup was on high for about 12 min when it was time for lunch and then we would find out if this was a disaster or a miracle. I couldn't eat so I just made sure everyone else had what they needed. To my great shock, people actually complimented my vegetable soup! Even going back for 2nds! I had 2 ladies ask me for a recipe! (((Angels: "Haaaaalelujah! Haaaaaalelujah!"))) Can you believe that?!!
Verse: Proverbs 12:27 "The lazy man will not cook the food he has caught, but the man who does his best has what is of worth."
Comment: YES, I procrastinated again! But God had pity on my guests I think!
Recipe: Last Minute Vegetable Soup! Ingredients: 1c Lentil Soup, 1 Large jar Medium Salsa, 1c beef broth, 1c water, 1c corn, 1c string beans, 1c carrots, 1c diced potatoes, 2T italian seasoning, 1t pepper, 1t salt. Pour all in a crock pot and cook until ready to eat! (You can also easily add noodles at the end.)
Feb 3, 2012
STORY: Getting over being sick sometimes is as rough as still being ill. After days of only drinking broth and super easy digestible scraps, I welcomed the opportunity to eat lunch at work for the 1st time in what felt like a loooong time. I got some egg drop soup and rice and sat down to a nice lunch with my friend Jamie Knapp. You know that feeling when you are craving eating something after not eating for a while? The soup tasted sooo good that I ate it faster and faster until in about 15 min time, I had eaten all my rice and the soup. THAT WAS A MISTAKE. It was too much too soon. I had to fight that horrible feeling of nausea for hours sitting at my desk, trying to get my work done, and then finally yes, I "returned to sender". Such a waste, it had been great soup. As my grandpa would say, "my eyes were too big for my stomach". Taught me a good lesson though-- limitations are important. Especially when you're getting over being sick.
VERSE: Prov 23:2 "...and put a knife to your throat if you are given to gluttony."
COMMENT: Well, I should have done SOMETHING to stop myself!
Story: All I can say is check your foods before you eat them! Recently I was starting to get a sour stomach each late morning and I couldn't pin-point what was causing it. I only drank a cup or two of caffeine-free tea during the morning show so, what was up? I thought that I just needed to start taking my vitamins earlier and drink a little more water. Well, the sour stomach continued and seemed to get a little worse each day. Finally, I decided to not eat or drink anything one morning and see if it made a difference and it did! I ran into my office and grabbed my little tea box and re-read the ingredients...everything looked good. That's when I smelled it..that rancid odor of mold. I opened the box and started to pull out the tea bags one by one and yep, I had mold in the box! I remembered then that I had spilled something near that box weeks ago and I was sure that that's what infiltrated my bags. Of course if I hadn't been in such a hurry each morning and looked at the box or the bags, I may have been able to stop myself from ingesting mold for over a week! But this doesn't just happen with drinks, oh no, my husband and I found a box of oatmeal in the back of our pantry and decided to eat it, knowing it was a bit old. After I microwaved some, I took a bite and felt a different texture in my mouth--I looked down and saw that the oatmeal had maggots in it!!!!!!!!!! ULGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (After tracing back how long we've actually had it in the pantry, we realized we had moved into the house with this stuff!! Well over 2 yrs ago.)
Verse:Job 20:14 "Food turns their stomachs, becoming a cobra’s poison inside."
Comment: I am SOOO "gun-shy" now with ALL of my older foods in the house!
Story: Wanting to bring together friends from my past and at the time, the present, I invited some of my college friends to a former high school friend's summer party. Well, everything seemed to be going OK, the 2 groups didn't seem to have too much in common but they were trying at least. To liven things up my friend Skip suggested that we all jump in the pool--fully clothed. The forecast for that day was rain and so I had jeans, a tank top and a little sweater-cardigan on that I was now sweating through in the high heat. It took some convincing but I did jump in. After a bit we all got out and his dad gave us all XXXL tshirts to wear while our clothes were rinsed and dried. Evidently, we all looked like we were wearing dresses at the time! When the clothes were done to everyone's horror almost all the clothes were now stained pink. And who had the red item you ask?? Do you even have to ask?! I couldn't even get my sweater on it shrunk so small! It looked like something a kindergartner would wear! So I stepped out of the bathroom and saw everyone's clothes were ruined by my now kid-sized red sweater! I was asked to go out to eat but I was so humiliated from guilt that I went straight home.
Verse: "This city here is close enough to flee to, and it’s small. It’s small, right? Let me escape there, and my life will be saved.” Gen 19:20
Story: Holiday events suddenly become more important when you bring someone home with you. I did such a thing by bringing Kyle home to meet the extended family for the first time. Years ago on Thanksgiving, I asked the man who would become my husband, to come and meet my relatives in Chicago. I was a little nervous since I had never brought a man home to meet my extended family before. And if you think I'm a boisterous, lively person, you should meet my family! It just seemed that everyone was even more-so that day at dinner. Since I was having stomach problems at the time and I couldn't eat any desserts, I was chowing down on baby carrots. Well someone said something hysterically funny at the table and everyone busted out in this bawdy, loud laughter. Having a mouthful of baby carrots I tried to keep myself from laughing which induced a little choking and then I felt something in my nasal passages--and---AAAACHOOOOO!!!! I sneezed baby carrot shreds all over the table in front of me, my hands and the arm of the person sitting next to me--Kyle. As horrifying as that was, everyone agreed that Kyle was now IN. What a horrible way to be initiated into my family!
Verse: "To gather the assembly, blow a long blast, not a series of short blasts." Num 10:7
Comment: Yeah, I'm surprised Kyle stuck around after that.
Story: My mom always tried to get me to taste new foods growing up but one of her favorite things to eat, salad, never made the cut for me. One Saturday amongst all the chores and errands we were running, mom decided that we'd get a treat and go to the Dominick's salad bar. She created a big salad and I took samples of jello, fruits, nuts, and puddings. Well I had a big spot left open on my plate and I asked mom what I should get and she pointed to a big pile of yellow stuff next to the chocolate pudding and said, "Why don't you get some banana pudding?" Naturally I put a big glob of it in my to-go box as we left to take groceries home. We hadn't been home long when we had to run somewhere else and mom told me to hurry up and finish my lunch so we could go. All that was left was that banana pudding so I took a heaping spoonful, shoved it in my mouth and went for a second bite when I tasted it. It was butter!!!!!!! I almost threw up in the trash can!
Verse: Ex. 23:25 "Worship the LORD your God, and his blessing will be on your food and water. I will take away sickness from among you..."
Comment: Hopefully the Lord will bless my food and water tastings from here on out!
Story: So every year around Christmastime my church has an occassion or two for bringing in holiday baked goods; last year was no different. I was one of the people who voluntarily brought trays of desserts down to the Worship Center from our kitchen. (At the same time chastizing the children trying to steal a treat or two in the hallways. I remember telling the kids that it would not be fair to start eating desserts because no one else got that opportunity yet.) I stayed strong through the chocolate cakes and fresh baked pies but then...there they were...my achilles heel...the almond crescent cookies! They are so divine and having not eaten dinner yet, I was tempted. As I edged around corners and said hellos while holding that tray of cookies I could feel the urge getting stronger. I stopped quickly at a small table and pretended to tie my boot (there are no ties on my boot!) and then like a viper, I struck! I grabbed 2 or 3 and shoved them in my mouth. As more and more people started to pass me by and say hello, I struggled to conceal the cookies in my mouth. I lifted the tray and smiling, kept walking to my goal. My anxiety got a little bit higher as I entered the Worship Center and lots more greetings came. My reply? "Mmmmm!" I placed the tray down and one of my friends walked up and started talking to me. My nods only lasted so long before she demanded, "What is wrong with you?!" She then handed me a compact mirror and there in my reflection I saw something similar to a squirrel storing nuts in its cheeks...with a ring of powdered sugar around its mouth!
Verse: Rom 2:21 "you, then, who teach others, do you not teach yourself? You who preach against stealing, do you steal?"
Comment: It's true...I cannot be trusted with cookies.
Nov 11, 2011 Story: I have an extremely tender heart for animals. My chihuahua Mr BigStuff especially but I think that there is a very substantial reason for that. A few months after I had gotten Mr Bigstuff, I was still getting used to him being everywhere that I was. He's 7lbs now but was half his size back then and very fast. He could go through every room in our house before I had finished making our bed. One day I was cleaning out our freezer and with our refridgerator, the freezer is on the bottom. As I sat on the floor, pulling out containers from the freezer, Biggie sat next to me, sniffing the cool air around me. I stood up, arms full of expired frozen items and kicked the door closed with my heel. The door slammed but didn't shut. I turned to see Biggie lying halfway in the freezer! I fell next him and his little head was dizzily moving in a slow circle and I started to ball. I started to pray over him and weeping and apologizing. I held him close and just cried. A few minutes later Kyle came home and Biggie squirmed from my arms and happily ran to him. I just sat there, traumatized, all ugly-cried out, and Kyle just looked at me and asked, "What's wrong with you?"
Verse: Ps 128:1 "...the LORD will watch over your coming and going, both now and forevermore."
Comment: I watch Biggie like a hawk now! LIKE. A. HAWK.
Nov 4, 2011 Story: I have had many different hair disasters. Whether it was coloring it or cutting it or even something as simple as blow drying it. I have had my hair shut in car doors, ripped out in a wooden doorway, and even sucked up in a vaccuum once. So this story is nothing compared to all the other ways I've mamed my mane. A few weeks ago, I brought my blow dryer with me to work because I didn't have time to dry it before coming in to do the morning show. As usual, I threw my thin, fine hair forward and commenced drying it on HIGH HEAT. As I whipped my hair back and forth in haste, I attempted to dry sections at a time. Attempted. Well I must have kept that blow dryer too close because I suddenly smelled this aweful burning scent and then I saw a little smoke coming out of the barrel! I turned it off and pulled it away to see a section of hair had burned off! I guess a bunch of hair half-wet got into the barrel and got stuck and dried and then burned off!! My hair looked like a mix of the Bride of Frankenstein and a lion's mane that day.
Verse: Ex. 35:26 "And all the women who were willing and had the skill spun the goat hair."
Oct 07, 2011 Story: Evidentally I'm not the only one these moments happen to! Our Station Manager Tom Schoenstedt went to the MWS/AG concert the other night and with him, some of his family. As they were standing backstage at the concert during intermission, Tom's son starting singing to himself "Friends". Well after a bit, a door swung open and out popped Michael W Smith! He asked "Who's singing?" Of course, everyone pointed at Tom's son. Michael ran over to him and shaking his hand asked, "You want to take a picture together?" WHO WOULD SAY NO TO THAT?! So out of what could have been an embarrassing situation, came a great memory for everyone involved. *whew! close call!* : )
Story: Probably all of you know John Derrek, whether from Thursdays here at KLMP or from Hills Alive, be that as it may, you probably don't know this story. So John loves to play drums and is good at it. Not too long ago my church had a Praise and Worship Night and John was one of the drummers participating that evening. During rehearsals however, John's passionate drumming was just too loud over the other instruments. So, a pair of bamboo sticks were donated to bring down his volume a bit. (Bamboo sticks are a bunch of thinner shoots that are held together on one end by a rubber stopper--should pull down volume by 50%) Well, John used them and the sound quality was still good BUT his volume did not decrease at all. After hours of rehearsal our sound guy Mike said, "Hey John, hold up your sticks for a minute." John raised his hands and Mike started laughing; "John your holding the sticks backwards!" No wonder the volume didn't go down at all, JD was slamming the rubber ended side into the drums the whole time!
Verse: 1 Cor 3:16 "Don’t you realize that all of you together are the temple of God and that the Spirit of God lives in you?"
Comment: Realization sometimes comes to us through others words I guess.
Recipe: Grilled Barbeque Bacon Chicken Bamboo Skewers Moses replied: “It is not the sound of victory, it is not the sound of defeat; it is the sound of singing that I hear.”
Story: In this chillier fall weather, the insects are coming in. To live in my house. I am not happy about this. While trying a 2nd attempt at a mashed potato casserole, I left the uncooked casserole sitting on the door to the open oven while I cleaned up a few things. Trying to keep Mr BigStuff away from the food was task enough but I didn't think about fighting off the crickets. Starting the casserole I didn't notice the crickets that had jumped in my oven. 20 min later when I removed the casserole I certainly noticed then! One, burned to a crisp on the side of the dish, the other burned as well, sticking halfway out of my casserole! NOT to be discouraged, I cut out and around the dead insect and ate my casserole still! They can infiltrate my oven, but they can't take away..my Casserole!!
Verse: Lev 11:20-22 "All flying insects that walk on all fours are detestable to you. But you can eat some of these, namely, those that have jointed legs for hopping on the ground: all locusts, katydids, crickets, and grasshoppers."
Comment: This story goes to prove that I WILL eat what I make and no insect can stop me!
Story: At a Christian Radio Broadcasters convention I was at last week, I was accident prone. Prone to almost injuring people! While walking down the hallway to my room, I was trying to adjust my little ipod earplugs and I basically ran over 2 young men coming down the hall toward me--like a linebacker. After apologizing, I realized who I had run into and asked, "Royal Tailor?" They were very kind about the mishap. Then, I went back to the conference hall and Suzanne Happs offered to introduce me to her friend Mike Weaver. Yes, Big Daddy Weave. Well, I guess a lot of people noticed he was there too because when I got near him I saw a group of people rushing to swarm around him. I did not want to get caught up in that so I quickly swung my purse up to my shoulder as I turned to get away...unfortunately Mike Weaver backed up a step and I ended up elbowing him in the back. But a neat embarrassing thing that occurred was when I was heading to the conference the next day and I was singing along to "O Praise Him" by David Crowder Band in my ipod. I turned the corner and looked up whilst singing and there's David Crowder Band!!! Oh my goodness you have got to be kidding!
Verse: Prov 23:35 edit "“They hit me,” you will say, “but I’m not hurt! They beat me, but I don’t feel it!"
Sept 2, 2011 Story: This is a little story of our family Schnauzer Max, and his might! Max had been rescued from a sealed up car on a 100 degree day by my uncle and given to us. Well Max was a stout, tough little cookie and was known to be The Garbage Disposal. He ate everything! Entire Easter baskets of candy, leaves and weeds outside, everything! One day as my mom and I were getting a summer dinner prepared and we called the dogs inside. As Max got closer to the door we noticed that he had some large black thing in his mouth. We immediately thought 'uh-oh, Max is bringing in another dirt ball that he dug up'. Mom stopped him in the kitchen and told him to drop it. Max sat down, stubby tail wagging, and mom said again firmly, "Drop it." Max bent his head down and spit it out on the floor by my moms bare feet...a live bat! It was flopping around on the floor as my mom and I shrieked for someone to get it out of the kitchen. Mom grabbed a broom and swept it out the door as Max ran after it. So now we had to wrestle this little porker to keep him away from the injured bat flopping around outside! It took a while but we finally got him back inside. ULGH! How did a miniature schnauzer catch a bat?!?!?!
Verse: 2 Sam. 18:23 "He said, “Come what may, I want to run.” So Joab said, “Run!” Then Ahimaaz ran by way of the plain[a] and outran the Cushite."
Comment: That was like me and my mom trying to outrun each other to get away from the bat and then controlling Max!
Aug 26, 2011 STORY: As you know, I am trying to be more domestic and find a love of cooking this summer. Well I'm no chef, I'm extremely amateur actually, so when I make something that tastes good, I take special pride in it. I made a cheesy potato casserole and bbq chicken breasts for dinner and it looked so nice! (I've even gotten into presentation!) I finally got my hubby to sit down at the dining room table for a meal with me! We also leave our screen door open constantly so that our dog can go in and out. I don't think I will do that anymore. The fragrance of the delicous food brought uninvited guests. This giant phatom insect has flown through my house before and I could never identify it nor catch it. Well he was back! Like JAWS circling us, I saw him in my peripherals attempting to get closer to the table and I could hear the "duh-da! duh-da!" in my head. Now this bug is huge, I thought it was a bumblebee or a hummingbird at first but it sure wasn't! I couldn't stand it being there for my nice meal! I grabbed some newpaper inserts and starting swatting and swinging like a crazed-baseball player, almost knocking stuff over in our dining room! Finally it landed, on my potatoes! So with the encouragement of my dear husband who was already eating, and my adrenaline rush, I hit it hard and SMOOSH..right into my potatoes and it was still alive! I quickly covered it over in starchy goodness and threw out the casserole. I won't keep my screen door open anymore while eating.
Verse: 2 Sam. 22:38 “I pursued my enemies and crushed them; I did not turn back till they were destroyed."
Comment: Oh my goodness! I'm gonna keep having this eerie feeling that that monster insect ate his way through the casserole pile, pushed open the trash door and lies in wait for me! Like a twilight zone episode!
STORY: I have been cooking a lot more this summer and I have been very proud of my work with summer vegetables. I found this great recipe that involved pasta and squash and zucchini the other night and PTL, it was a success! Well I left a lot of remaining pasta noodles in a straining bowl on the counter so my husband could continue to get seconds and thirds as he pleased. Since I go to bed much earlier than my husband, I didn't remember to put the remaining pasta away. I left it in the strainer on the kitchen counter. A couple hours into the night I awoke with a terrible thirst. Naturally I got up, wearily, and walked in the dark to the kitchen. I got some flavored water out of the fridge and carried it to the counter where I had left my water glass earlier. Sleepily I reached over to where I thought the glass was and grabbed what felt like a giant, slimy centipede!! I screeched throwing it over my shoulder, hitting the ceiling with a thwap! And dropping the water bottle, I proceeded to run through the house like a hysterical idiot. After making it into the bathroom and slamming the door behind me, I realized that I must have grabbed a handful of pasta off the counterand not a giant centipede. As was evidenced on the floor of my kitchen.
Verse: Gen 3:3 "but God did say, ‘You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.’”
Comment: In retrospect, even if it had been a big bug, why on earth did I throw it instead of dropping it? I must've had the 1st thought that it could kill me!
STORY: For my husband's birthday we decided to go to a restaurant he loves, Red Lobster. I unfortunately am allergic to crab and thus, am quite nervous about entering a seafood establishment from the get-go. But we went. While we sat down and attempted to have a conversation, a group of children at the table behind us made their presence known. First it was gross noises then it became talking about other patrons physiques then throwing food and silverwear! The parents were acting oblivious to the disruptions. My blood was boiling. I was already wound a little tight due to nervousness but these little bums were getting on my last nerve and their parents. I finally decided to say something, out of anger. I jumped up and turned around to face their table when WHAP! A biscuit slammed into my forehead! We were all stunned for a moment but then I gave those children the look of death, and they cowered a little in their seats. One kid tried to laugh and I shot him a direct look square in the eye that quieted him down. I turned around as the waitress brought our food. Thank the Lord he stopped me from saying anything negative because poison would've just spewed from my mouth upon them. One hurdle over, I sat down to another, Kyle had ordered crab legs!
Verse: Ecc. 7:9 "Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools."
Comment: I was going to lunge at them in anger and I was shown that that was foolish. (No I didn't have an allergy attack at dinner--yay!)
STORY: I LOVE to experiment with my hair and different hairstyles. Even as recent as Hills Alive I was sporting a new do each day: "Rockabilly" Saturday and "Updated-30's" on Sunday. It was fun. I had decided last week that since I am so busy Sunday mornings, I should set my hair the night before and then Sunday morning I won't be rushing to get ready. I saw how to pin-curl my hair online and thought that since it's naturally curly, all I would have to do is pin-curl my hair wet Saturday night and the next morning I can just pull the pins out, let the curls fall, spray and walk out the door. Yeah, who are dealing with here?! Well, it ends up that the pin-curl technique that I saw was not working for me. So I improvised. I took pieces of my hair, twisted it tightly and wound it up against my head, making little knots so-to-speak, and pinned them in place. I went to bed looking like an alien. The next morning I woke up late on purpose, dressing in a minute or two, and pulled the pins out. Well my hair certainly took to those twisty knots! Upon release, my hair stayed in tight shirley-temple curls against my head. I started to pull them apart and that was creating a fro. Now don't get me wrong, I love a well-kept Afro, especially a short, curly one but this was not going to be the outcome. I have layers cut in my hair so this fro was NOT going to be even. Discouraged and with no time left, I drove to the church and parked. Lucky me, a wicked wind was sweeping through the parking lot and now, my hair. I glanced in the hallway mirror whilst running past it and saw the medusa! Some curls were tight and short, some pulled apart into an uneven fro, and in the back..a Mullet. (Due to my arm strength being pathetic and not having the energy the night before to tightly pin the back at the base of my head.) Does this stop me from experimenting with my hair? NO. Does this stop me from experimenting on Sundays? YES.
Verse: Ecc. 1:15 "What is twisted, cannot be straightened; what is lacking, cannot be counted."
Comment: Never thought my head could fit so many different styles on it at the same time!
May 27, 2011 STORY: I kill 2-3 spiders a day in my office. Little black ones that are really fast and can jump! Yesterday, I was blowing on my mug of coffee at my desk when I saw a little black spider on the inside of my glasses!! I dropped the mug, flung my glasses across the room and repeatedly slapped myself in the face while going: "Ewwwww!!!" I checked my desk, checked my face, checked my glasses (not broken PTL) and the spider was no where to be seen. I sat down at last and picked up my mug and that's when I realized, it must have fallen into my coffee. So I lean over the mug, sloshing it back and forth to try to find the little, black culprit and then..there it was! In my glasses again! Well this time I didn't even take the glasses off I just started smacking myself. After a few seconds of appearing quite ridiculous I'm sure, I looked for it once more and still there was no trace. I looked down on my desk to check things out and that's when I saw it, in my glasses, right in front of my eye! My eyes opened a little wider as I sat up straight and the spider seemed to disappear. I looked down again and it was there, up, and it was gone. That's when I realized it. I hadn't taken off my eye makeup from the day before and my eyelashes had gotten all twisted and gunky; so when I looked down, my eyelashes were close together and formed what appeared to be a spider. WOW. Well, that made the smacking all worth it..
Verse: Exodus 10:28 "Pharaoh said to Moses, “Get out of my sight! Make sure you do not appear before me again! The day you see my face you will die.”
May 6, 2011 STORY: I noticed some time ago that I have a very obvious cavity in my back molar and as a result I am now starting to have headaches from it that wake me up at night. The other night, I woke up to an intense throbbing in my jaw. I moaned out loud and tried to wake my husband but he was sound asleep. I got up and went to the bathroom. I looked into the back of my mouth and saw that the gums around that molar were inflamed and swollen up all around the tooth. The throbbing continued as I reached in my mouth and pushed on the tooth, hoping I could maybe push away the pain. To my utter horror, the tooth wiggled! It seemed to alleviate the pain, so I wiggled it some more. All of the sudden the pain jolted from my jaw into the tooth and I couldn't even scream the pain was so bad. I could barely breathe. I grabbed onto the tooth and pulled and it popped out of my mouth!!! The throbbing stopped but now there was blood running through my mouth and I started sobbing. I held my hand to my cheek and felt a pulse of pain again when..I opened my eyes to the dark of my bedroom...it was all a nightmare!!! I ran into the bathroom, peered inside my mouth and saw that the tooth was still there. Didn't sleep the rest of the night! I have a dentist appt in Aug...
Verse: Ecc. 5:3 "A dream comes when there are many cares, and many words mark the speech of a fool."
April 22, 2011 STORY: My colleague Jamie Knapp had an upset stomach the other day and I offered her a homeopathic remedy of eating candied ginger. She only wanted a little so I ripped off a small chunk from a large piece, handed it to Jamie, and ate the big piece myself. Well, anyone who's ever eaten candied ginger knows that it can be a little stringy. I had noticed that while I chewed but it didn't seem like an issue or anything. Over the intercom I heard that my appointment was waiting for me in the lobby. So off I go, swallowing hard that piece of ginger in my mouth. I greeted my appointment with a big grin and some welcoming words when their expression changed from a smile to bewilderment. As our handshake slowed, the person asked me, "Excuse me but..there might be some things stuck in your teeth.." OMGOSH!!! I directed my smile downward as I thanked them, showed them into a studio, and proceeded to jetison myself toward the bathroom. I turn on the light, look in the mirror and ULGHHH!!!!! Little yellow strings were stuck in my front teeth! It was so gross, like a little yellow jungle!!!!!! Needless to say, I went back to business and couldn't smile at the client the rest of the time they were here.
Comment: Yes. I keep floss in my purse now.
Bible Verse: Lev. 10:10 "..so that you can distinguish between the holy and the common, between the unclean and the clean,"
April 14, 2011 STORY: I loved cooking with my mom growing up. I remember a time though, when I had been quite naughty, involving an egg. I must have been around six, cooking dinner with my mom, and I wanted to crack the eggs. My mom didn't want me to though so she cracked them and left to ask my brother a question. While she was gone, I grabbed an egg and ran to the basement. I had no idea what I was going to do with it. The fact that I took something and didn't get caught was an amazement to me. I ran into the spare bathroom in our laundry room and squeezed the egg. I had seen on Sesame Street that if you have pressure on the top and bottom sides of an egg, it won't break. As I squeezed, I heard my mom call downstairs: "Katie where did you go? Aren't you going to help me finish dinner?" In a panic, I crushed the egg and then dropped it next to the toilet in the closet-sized commode. I heard the washer start up so I stuck my hand into the water and washed it off before going upstairs. The rest of the night I could hardly sleep, thinking about that egg in the basement and the trouble I was bound to get in. The guilt and constant fear were drove me crazy. A few days later my dad had to use the bathroom and our primary one was being occupied so, he ran downstairs to use the spare. My dad called upstairs to my mom and she went downstairs. I knew they had found it and I was just waiting for the yelling and my punishment. I ran upstairs to my room and hid under my covers, knowing I would end up there anyway. And to my great shock, my parents never came upstairs. They never punished me or my brothers or even spoke about the egg. But I don't think it would've mattered if they had punished me anyway, I had been punishing myself for days.
Verse: I Sam. 13:6 " When the Israelites saw that their situation was critical and that their army was hard pressed, they hid in caves and thickets, among the rocks, and in pits and cisterns."
Comment: As an adult, I see the extreme error of my former ways.
March 25, 2011 STORY: There was a night in college when a group of my girlfriends and I were getting ready to go out on the town. We were all packed in the same bathroom, borrowing hair brushes and makeup, pushing, shoving, getting ready. One of the girls bought these beautiul fake eyelashes with sparkles at the tips for everyone. We were all running late so some girls put theirs on, others said they'd do it at the restaurant. Quickly, I slide some glue on the lashes, closed my eye, and stuck one on. My friend said, "Katie don't close your eye, leave your eye open a little." Not me, I can't stand things getting close to my eye at all! As the girls started to run downstairs I shouted "How do i get this to dry faster?!" One of my friends generously turned her blow dryer on my face. It worked though. I stood and looked in the mirror, saw that my eye was not open and knew right away...I had glued my eyelid shut! I did freak out a little bit as a friend rinsed my eye with warm water, which ruined my makeup anyway. But wowzers, no more false eyelashes for me!
Verse: Deuteronomy 11:12
Comment: I should've kept my eye open and focused on what I was doing and not been such a wimp!
Recipe: Sticky Buns
March 18, 2011 STORY: I rarely wear short dresses, just not my thing. However, yesterday I decided to wear the only dress I own that sits about 2 inches above the knee (with some black leggings and heels). After I got done with work I decided to run a few errands before going home, one of which was to Safeway. I hadn't noticed anything strange whilst driving to the store and didn't notice anything strange even after I parked and got out of the car. But as I walked through the parking lot toward Safeway I noticed a few people looking at me and even giggling. I arrived at the 1st set of doors with a few other pedestrians and even they seemed to be looking a little extra long at me. I grabbed a hand basket and proceeded toward the 2nd set of doors and that's when I saw it! I was confronted with the reflected image of me with my skirt bunched up around my hips!!!!! I started grabbing at it frantically but since it was a dress that had 2 layers that were connected to each other, the inner layer was bunched a little in my leggings and I started to yank my dress AND my leggings down! Luckily after a few seconds I was able to adjust the issues.
Verse: Ps. 147:10 "His pleasure is not in the strength of the horse, nor his delight in the legs of the warrior;"
Comment: Finding that verse today made me laugh SO hard!
March 11, 2011 STORY: So everyone knows I visited Chicago for a week and I got a chance to reconnect with some old friends for lunch. We visited our old mall and talked about old times, it was nice to reminisce. One of the only good things to eat at our old mall is Chinese so we got in line. My girlfriends Kelly and Tracy stood in front of me in line with Kelly's son Caleb in his stroller. As we side-stepped through the line, choosing our fixins, I started telling Kelly about these really weird dreams I had been having lately of her just showing up on my doorstep in SD. And then I rabbit-trailed into talking about how she and I used to dress alike in highschool and people would call us each others names. "Remember?" I asked with a giggle looking over to find a completely different person standing next to me, eyes open wide! Evidently, Tracy and Kelly stepped around this woman with kid in stroller because she couldn't make up her mind. Me, I kept my eye on the prize, food; I kept ordering and didn't look next to me. So I had been having an intimate conversation with a total stranger! And that poor woman thinks I dream about her!!
Verse: Luke 24:31 "Then their eyes were opened and they recognized him, and he disappeared from their sight."
Comment: That woman got out of there SO fast after her order was ready, she left the food court! But my Broccoli/Beef was good!
STORY: My husband and I have different sleep schedules since I get up at 5 and he gets up at 9. My nightly routine consists of reading or watching a movie to fall asleep to in bed. A while ago I read myself to sleep and was awoken from deep slumber by a dark figure with their hand coming toward my face! In a knee-jerk reaction I started to slap at that hand in the dark and the figure who was leaning toward me. That's when Kyle yelled, "It's me! Stop it! You left your glasses on!" With one last swat I grumbled, "Leave me alone! Who comes at someone in the dark like that?!" And I went back to sleep, leaving my glasses on. I woke up the next morning remembering what had happened and I apologized. But seriously, a big dark figure coming at you in the dark and you're not going to swat?!
Verse: Ps. 35:23 "Awake, and rise to my defense! Contend for me, my God and Lord."
STORY: It wasn't that long ago that some of the youth and myself were in the Church's kitchen cooking for a fundraiser. There was the usual shannanigans going on, water fights, ingredient throwing, whatnot. One of the girls had gotten ahold of some large, black "pincher" type paperclips and was clipping them all over her face. Yes, it was funny but she was also taking them off after a couple seconds pinching. As I was washing this really gross, greasy pan a youth walked over and pinched the paperclip on my lip. Everyone laughed and I turned off the faucet and tried to pinch the paperslip to get it off my face. I couldn't! My fingertips were so greasy that it kept slipping! And it started to hurt SO MUCH! I dried my hands on a towel but the clip was super greased. One of the youths had to (between hysterical laughter) pinch it off with a towel on their hand. By that time, my lip looked like I got collagen! Not pretty though.
Verse: Ps 94:8 "Take notice, you senseless ones among the people; you fools, when will you become wise?"
Comment: When will I learn to run from the youth when they want to play???? jk : ) That recipe is right! My lip was pressed flat, at first.
STORY: Now this story is a favorite amongst the people who know me. I had a very very hard night a few months ago. A very sudden and disappointing loss had occured for me and I cried. But it was not simple, gentle tears that rolled down my face but a waterfall that came gushing down an anguished palette. And it was not slight weeping that could be heard but wailing. (Yes, the Ugly Cry.) I was inconsolable. After hours and hours of selfish plight with two swollen, red eyes I headed for bed. It seemed like I had just fallen asleep when my cell alarm woke me up to get ready for work. I slipped out of bed into the dark, eyes still shut from exhaustion and felt my way into the bathroom. I turned on the light and the faucet and sleepily noticed that my eyes were still shut. I thought I had opened them. That was the moment I WOKE UP. I've never had to "try" to open my eyes before. I went into a panick and touched my eyes, they were sealed shut! I started yelling very dramatically, "I'm blind! God has smited me!" I leaned down and splashed water onto my eyes and started to pull the top lid and bottom lid apart. I felt so much better when a little light shone in. Once the water turned warm and I rubbed in on my eyes again, they opened right up. But that was scary!
Verse: John 9:10 “How then were your eyes opened? they asked."
Comment: What else but clams could so richly describe this fix I was in?
January 26, 2011 STORY: I think that anyone who has a small dog has gone through something similar to what I am about out tell you. I came home from work one night to be greeted by my husband and some "couple friends" of ours. Of course, my dog Mr BigStuff came running up to welcome me home as well. I hadn't so much as taken off my shoes and Biggie had run into the bathroom. That's always a bad thing because there is nothing that Biggie is allowed to play with in the bathroom. I ran to grab him, but it was too late. He now had one of my undergarments dangling from his teeth as he ran past me at light speed through the living room. I was so embarrassed that Kyle and I had left our dirty laundry on the floor of our bathroom but moreso now that Biggie was waving a very personal "flag" in each person's direction. One by one, my little dog taunted each person's effort to try to catch him or retrieve the personal item. Everyone was laughing hysterically as Biggie ran through the whole house, having so much fun at my expense. He did eventually get caught and I did grab all the laundry and hid it till our guests left. Horror.
Verse: 2 Kings 8:11 "He stared at him with a fixed gaze until Hazael was embarrassed. Then the man of God began to weep."
January 24, 2011 STORY: I love the sweet, little children at my church. My friends' kids and such. They are so bluntly honest and a great blessing from God. One Sunday after Church, I was talking with a friend and one of my other friends' kids came and sat on my lap. They were as sweet as can be, eating some yummy-looking homemade granola mix, After a few minutes I felt a weird warmth on my leg...yes..the child had peed on me. I stood up, looked at the big wet mark above my knee that was wrapping around my leg and asked: "Did you go potty in your pants?" And without a hesitation or any shame, replied: "Yes I did." Needless to say, the friend I was talking to was cracking up. I told that sweet little darling to go find their mommy or daddy and let them know. I spent the next 10 minutes in the ladies bathroom, pants in sink, rinsing and attempting to dry. And wouldn't you know it? My husband made lunch plans with people and we were late to the restaurant, so who went to lunch with one soaked pant leg???
Verse: Ps. 127:3 "Children are a heritage from the LORD, offspring a reward from him."
January 23, 2011 STORY: I wish I could say that the following occurance has only happened once in my lifetime but no, it occurs at least twice a year. A few months ago I was reading a book in bed on a night that I knew my husband wouldn't be coming home until the wee hours of the morning. To sit up just enough, I put my arm behind my head, laying my right hand on my left shoulder, palm up. Try it, you'll see what I mean. As usual, I fell asleep reading and I woke up hours later to an empty bedside but to my horror..a strangers hand was touching me!! My heart started racing and my body froze. I figured the intruder thought I was still asleep so I could take them by surprise, so a plan of action went through my head; how I would disable them, run and grab Mr BigStuff and run out the back door. But I had to make the first move! So I held my breath, grabbed the hand that was touching my neck and part of my face and flung it off of me with a loud "AHHHHH!!!!!!" Immediately I felt a slight tug as the hand I had flung away was attached to an arm, which was attached to me. I had cut off the blood circulation in my entire arm for over 4 hours, sleeping as I did. To calm down, since their were no intruders to fight off, I went into the kitchen and made a mug of warm milk. What a night!
Verse: Jer. 14:9 "Why are you like a man taken by surprise, like a warrior powerless to save? You are among us, LORD, and we bear your name; do not forsake us!"
Comment: I'm so lucky I didn't have my big knife nearby; I might've had to go to the hospital! And this story could've taken a very different turn!
January 10, 2011 STORY: My mom learned about home remedies from all sorts of places and she learned about Oil of Oregeno one winter long ago. To boost our immune system and kill bacteria, every winter or flu season, my mom would line up my brothers and I and squirt a drop of Oil of Oregano under our tongues. Yes it burned and everything tasted diferent for at least an hour but it seemed to work. I thought back on this when I felt a cold or flu coming on not too long ago and bought some oil of oregano. I knew it would burn but I felt confident that I could handle it. I mean, I did this when I was a kid right? So I jerk my head back, open wide and squeeze the dropper...nothing comes out. So I check it over to make sure it works and I squeeze harder and a drop finally comes out in the sink. I now try again, tilt head back, open mouth, squeeze dropper, harder this time. I felt liquid in the back of my throat and I could tell it was more than just a drop because the burning felt horrendous! I grabbed some sparkling water to rinse it down and that did NOT help! I was flapping my hands in the air and walking in a circle just moaning. My poor little dog followed me barking, thinking it was a game. I have used the oregano since then to clean with and cook with but never again straight.
Verse: Deut. 4:6 "Observe them carefully, for this will show your wisdom and understanding to the nations, who will hear about all these decrees and say, “Surely this great nation is a wise and understanding people.”
Comment: I don't think I represented anything or anyone well that day. A foreigner would have looked at me and run the other way!
January 3, 2011 STORY: Every New Year's I spend at my church with anywhere from 65 to 110 youth ages 12-18. The over-nighter this year was very fun and I was very tired at the end. We usually have a few traditions we always keep like 3am Rock Band Tourney and Underground Church and of course, 5am Dodgeball. And that's where I got in trouble. I was honestly staggering around a little bit from being so tired and therefore was in NO condition to play but I needed to do something to stay awake. I jump on a team and we start playing and everything was going fine for a little while. Then I notice the dodge balls just skimming past me one after another. I really start looking around when someone yells "Hey Katie!" I turn and wham! A red dodgeball slammed into the center of my face! I was being gunned for by one of my very athletic youths! I was ashamed to admit that it took me a few minutes to recover from that wallop!
Verse: 1 Peter 5:2 "Be shepherds of God’s flock that is under your care, watching over them—not because you must, but because you are willing, as God wants you to be; not pursuing dishonest gain, but eager to serve..."
STORY: One Sunday, my mom and I were rushing to get ready for church and she reminded me to pull my hair back out of my face and spit out my gum. I had been chewing that gum for well over an hour and it was now starting to disintegrate, but I decided to blow just one more bubble. As I was brushing my hair over my shoulders I blew the biggest bubble I had ever blown and as I tried to get my mom's attention it burst! All over my hair and my chin and neck. We tried to get it out in a hurry and this "substance formerly known as gum" would NOT let go. Trying to scratch that gluey goo off my neck was surprisingly painful! Needless to say, we pulled my hair back, gum and all and headed off to church. I was picking gum from my hair and face for a week, easy. (Yes I washed many times)
Verse: I Sam. 1:15...Hannah replied, “I am a woman who is deeply troubled. I have not been drinking wine or beer; I was pouring out my soul to the LORD."
Comment: I was crying a little at church that day. Praying for God to make the burning on my neck stop!
STORY: My brother Jonathan and I were fighting in the van on the way to my mom's work. We were told to stop many times but we were the type to have to be the last one to hit. Upon arrival, we jumped out of the Astro Van and even fought over who had to shut the sliding door! As my mom walked past us into her office, she yelled back for Jonathan to just shut the door. I smirked at him so he jerked the door handle with all his might and the door slammed shut with my fingers in it! I started screaming and my mom ran out and unlocked the van so we could open the door to get my hand out! It looked mangled and bruised but not broken.
Verse: Deut. 4:9 "Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them fade from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them."
Comment: Definately learned something that I will warn my kids about.
Recipe: Creepy Crow Claws (Because this is what my hand looked like!)
STORY: In highschool, for some reason I was very outgoing and VERY "humiliation" proned. Well, as most 15 year old girls, my friends and I were talking about the cute boys at school as we were walking in between classes. Since our school was almost over-crowded, you had to talk a little louder in the hallways in order to be heard. Since David, this boy that I thought was "GQx2", didn't appear to be around I talked quite loudly to my gfs about how gorgeous he was and how beautiful our children would be one day and all sorts of other equally stupid things. As we rounded the corner to split to all of our different classrooms, a guy pushed through the middle of our group ''Excuse me" he mumbled as he went up the stairs. IT WAS DAVID!!!! My friends all busted out laughing, telling me that he has been behind us since passing period started! He heard everything! Needless to say, I never did speak to him face to face ever.
VERSE: Ecc. 5:3 "A dream comes when there are many cares, and many words mark the speech of a fool."
STORY: When I was still very young, I was also very impatient. So when my mom and I were grocery shopping one Saturday and I felt very hungry, I started asking for food right there in Dominick's. Of course my mom told me no and that we were going to go home and start making dinner soon. But every time we walked past something that smelled good, the temptation loomed LARGER. We were in the fruit/vegetable area when the delicious, salty smell of peanuts called to me from a nearby kiosk. I waited until my mom passed them and I grabbed one quickly and shoved it in my mouth. I followed behind my mom down the cereal aisle trying to chomp this thing down as fast as I could but it was not as I thought it would be. The nut seemed like salty cloth in my mouth that wouldn't tear. My mom had started to ask my opinions about cereals and I was only answering in "mmms". The jig was up. My mom asked me what was in my mouth and I just spit a huge brown glob into my hand and showed her. 'What is that?! Where did you get it?!' My mom cried. I led her back to the peanut cart and she asked, 'You stuck the WHOLE nut in your mouth with the shell?!' That's when I realized that peanuts had shells that were inedible. She made me tell the grocer on duty and apologize.
Verse: Eph. 4:28 "Anyone who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with their own hands, that they may have something to share with those in need."
STORY: So my girl's Cluster from Youth Group was set to do outreach ministry last night at Alternative Fuel. The night consisted of music ministry, testimonies, and spoken word or poetry. I was set to be the 1st peson up on stage doing some spoken word. Well, I felt creativity just flowing from me earlier that day and I spent anywhere from 3-4 hours straight working on this poem. And when I was done, I just felt mentally and emotionally exhausted but I couldn't believe what I had just written. I didn't think I had it in me to write anything like it...4 pages of exceptional work beyond my capacities. I saved the work and went to email it to myself and suddenly the file wasn't there anymore. I felt the familiar pinch of panic rising up in me and tried to stay calm. I figured I must've saved it in the wrong place but after doing a few very thorough searches, I knew it was gone. Gone. Just like that. All that work and pouring myself out into it for hours and in an instant. it was like it never was. I called my husband hysterically crying and he rushed home to try to find it and all we could get from the computer was the 1st page I had written the day before. I tried to not be mad at God but I was. I was mad that He didn't prevent this from happening when the poem was all about honoring Him and it was for ministry purposes...I just didn't get it. So I performed the 1 page I had and the girls did their parts and did so well! I was so proud of my girls for facing fears and openly sharing their beliefs. I know in the end, that's what mattered. And God's ways are higher than my ways.
Verse: I Thes. 5:1-3 "Now, brothers and sisters, about times and dates we do not need to write to you, 2 for you know very well that the day of the Lord will come like a thief in the night. 3 While people are saying, “Peace and safety,” destruction will come on them suddenly, as labor pains on a pregnant woman, and they will not escape."
Comment: This experience did make me think about the Lord's 2nd Coming. And about how it will be so sudden. Something that did make me feel a little better that night was a reeeeally good smoothie I had but I don't remember what I ordered!
STORY: Yesterday at church, I sat on the aisle in the 2nd row, as usual. With my head cold finishing up, I couldn't breathe through my nose very well, sounded a little baritone. When I came in I remember thinking 'I should grab a tissue' when I got my coffee but NO I didn't because I also thought to myself 'I'm stuffed up, tissues won't be necessary'. So there I was, sitting with my friends, right when Pastor's prayer time began and I felt a tickle and then AACHOOOOO!! All over my hands and face! It was like one of those dinosaurs from Jurassic Park that spit that tar substance! No one had a tissue up front either so I had to stand up and walk to the back of the church, covering my nose. And looking at the floor mostly. But the few faces that I dared to make quick eye contact with, seemed to look with understanding..and humor.
VERSE: Ex 15:2 "The LORD is my strength and my defense; he has become my salvation. He is my God, and I will praise him, my father’s God, and I will exalt him."
STORY: One Christmas I was given an entire gift basket of "Pear" smelling stuff. Ya know, lotions and sprays and such. Well, there was also a large, fat candle included so I lit it up in my room. My mom specifically said that I had to make sure I had blown it out before I went to sleep. Of course I reassured her that I would do that. (Some of you can already tell where this is going...or so you think!) So I threw on some music and laid down on my bed, relaxing to the amazing smell of pears. Then I fell asleep. I woke up with such a start around 2am and luckily my parents hadn't seen that I had left the candle burning all those hours! I heard some noise downstairs and in my tired state my 1st thought was that one of them was coming upstairs. So I grabbed the closest thing, which was some pear body spray, and sprayed the flame of the candle in order to "snuff" it out. A large blue flame shot up and covered the entire top of the candle and had spread the flame onto the wall behind the candle! After some insane moments blowing the candle top out, I patted the wall with my robe and extinguished the fire. But that white wall had seen better days, it now had a slight brown burnt stain across it. I scrubbed to get that off the wall but you could tell something had happened--I borrowed a gf's white nail polish the next day.
VERSE: Ps. 104:4 "He makes winds his messengers, flames of fire his servants."
Comment: Oh goodness, what did I not do wrong here?!
Story: For all the ladies out there, I present the horror of pantyhose...my mom always said after I joined the workforce, to always take care of your hair, makeup, fixing your clothes and whatnot in a bathroom. I obviously did not listen. It was my 1st week at a new job and I came early to make sure I was punctual. There was only other person there so far so I decided to go to the kitchenette and make a cup of Chai Tea. When I was in the kitchen, I dropped something and as I leaned down to retrieve it my control-top pantyhose rolled down as well. As all the Lady readers know that means you are going to have a bulge showing around your belly unless you can get those tightly rolled pantyhose back up to yer chin again! (JK about the chin part) So I click the light off in the kitchen, yank my skirt up to my armpits and attempt to unroll the pantyhose. It seemed to work after the 1st try, so I pulled my skirt back down and the pantyhose rolled down with it again! Cause we all know once it starts rollin, it's gonna always roll. So I repeated the process and everytime I bent over or turned, it would roll down. SO now it was a fight between the pantyhose (that were also 1 siz too small) and me. I struggled with those darn things for close to 5 minutes when a male coworker of mine walked into the kitchen, flipping on the light switch. I yanked that skirt down so fast, I looked so suspicious. I still have no idea what he did or did not witness but we didn't look each other in the eye for the rest of that workday.
VERSE: Prov 4:6 "Do not forsake wisdom, and she will protect you; love her, and she will watch over you."
STORY: My friend Kristin now lives as a Missionary in Japan but before she moved and I moved here to SD, we both went to Willow Creek together. One day after church, a group of our friends decided to go out to eat and Kristin wanted to take us to this Japanese eatery/marketplace about 15 min away, 'Mitsuwa'. We agreed and the place was awesome! A giant circular building with a grocery store, marketplace and cafeteria all inside! We each grabbed some grub and sat together then noticed a small green glob on each of our plates. Kristin said it was wasabi and it adds flavor to your meal but it did have some kick. My fiancee (now husband) starts urging me to eat it, which got my friends involved, and it turned into daring me. I couldn't stand the taunts and challenges so I stabbed the wasabi with my chopstick and ate the whole thing. I thought my throat would close up! It was gagging me SO bad and all I could do was sweat and tear up and gasp for air! Yes, the Japanese populace in the eatery were laughing hysterically.
VERSE: Ecc 7:17 "Do not be overwicked and do not be a fool, why die before your time?"
Comment: What can I say? The lesson in this is just SO obvious.
STORY: In homage to Thanksgiving and cooks everywhere, here are my two cooking fire stories. When my husband and I first moved into our home about a yr ago, I couldn't wait to cook new and amazing dishes for him. I was told to cook in oil and not butter because it was healthier so, I grabbed a frying pan, turned the stove to High and threw some oil into the pan. I walked away for maybe 2 minutes when I smelt a strange hot smell and felt very warm in the living room. I went back to the kitchen to find the oil on fire in a large flame. And then, in a humiliating display, I proceeded to scream "the stove's on fire! the stove's on fire!" and run everywhere, looking for baking soda which we didn't have. Kyle walked into the kitchen, grabbed a lid, and smothered thus extinguishing the flame. He moved the pan to another burner and went back to play Xbox.
And then there was the time my mom was cooking Thanksgiving dinner half my lifetime ago and my brother Adam and I were messing around in the kitchen. From what I remember, mom had all the gas burners going to cook a multitude of dishes on the stove and Adam and I were kinda pushin each other around. To dodge his hands, I jumped back, placing my back against the stove. That's when we smelled that horrible, stagnant burning hair smell and my mom grabbed my arm and yanked me away from the stove. I had a new "layer" singed into my hair. I'm just glad that I hadn't used hairspray that day!!!
VERSE: II Kings 2:11 "As they were walking along and talking together, suddenly a chariot of fire and horses of fire appeared and seperated the two of them, and Elijah went to Heaven in a whirlwind."
Comment: CLOSE CALL! Seriously, my hair would've gone up in flames like that chariot!
Recipe: FRIED PICKLES (there almost was a fried katie on the menu!)
STORY: At 13, I was not very athletic and neither were the friends I hung out with. But one friend wanted me to tryout for the basketball team with her and I figured why not? Haven't done that before. The tryouts were from 3-6pm Thurs and Fri and about 20 girls were there afterschool. They were the sporty/athletic girls from my grade, most of them popular, and my tall friend and I did NOT fit in. The tryouts were excruitiating! We immediately jumped into continuous ladders and then running laps..I was always the last one to finish. I had NO energy, at one point my legs tried to buckle and I tripped into some people. Another lap and I was dry heaving. It was so humiliating. After that, I decided to not go back for the 2nd day. Monday at school a bunch of the girls who were now on the basketball team came up to me and asked why I didn't come back. WHY??!! I replied that I wasn't going to make the team anyway so why humiliate myself? They all scoffed at me and said that I should've come back, I would've made the team because the coach likes tenacity. They said I would've gotten used to the drills and I should keep going next time. Why didn't they say that sooner?!?!
STORY:I started babysitting in my neighborhood in my teens and two of the kids I babysat all the time were Samantha and Cameron. One night I went next door to babysit them and their mother warned me that the flu was going around Samantha's grade so be prepared. Well, the night seemed to go well. Samantha and I played for a few hours while baby Cameron slept. Sam looked a little pale and got tired faster than usual but it didn't seem like a big deal...then it was time to make dinner. I made mac n cheese and allowed her to sit on the couch in the living room instead of at the dining room table. Big mistake. I brought in her plate of mac n cheese and before I could place it next to her, she covered her mouth and then BLAAAAAAHHHHH all over the couch, the plate, the floor, it was enough vomit for at least 2 kids! Then she was sobbing, holding out her little wet hands for me. I took the plate into the kitchen, yelling back 'it's okay Sam!' 'everyone gets sick'. I took a wet dish towel and started to clean her hands as she cried: "I...love...yoooooou" in between snifles. She was so upset that she had done something aweful. My heart melted, all I could do was say "I still love you Sam, you're okay." Couldn't get her to sleep the rest of the evening and I ended up getting her flu.
VERSE: Psalm 41:3 "The LORD sustains them on their sickbed and restores them from their bed of illness."
Comment: Aren't we all just looking for that validation from God? When we do something that we think is aweful, for God to lovingly hold us and say he still loves us?
STORY: For years I had wanted a nose piercing. No specific reason why, I just really liked how it looked. So when Kyle and I went down to Iowa for a friends' wedding, I grabbed at my chance. Kyle always voiced his extreme distaste if I was to get one but being unmarried still, I took a little offense at his directive...so I wanted one all the more. To my surprise, almost all the girlfriends down in IA had gotten theirs done recently and offered to take me to get mine. I agreed and we snuck out really early the next day (hiding from Kyle or anyone that might tell Kyle). We arrived at the piercing place and a 6'something guy took us to the backroom. I sat in a reclining chair as the man shoved a needle through my nose waaaay too slowly. I was twisting and kicking and screaming, they had to get another worker to sit on my legs! Finally the needle pierced through and as he waaay too slowly pulled the steadily-getting-larger-needle, the ring came loose and he tried to manually shove the ring through my nose!! I really started jumping then with his big old banana hands wrestling my poor sore nose! He stopped and said that I couldn't handle it and handed me my $25 bucks back, telling me to come back in a month. We all went to lunch and I had the BEST turkey avocado sandwich ever! With the food to calm my stomach, I went back to the piercing place, had a different co-worker work with me and loved my pierced look for the next 5 months. Until I had to take it out for work and the hole closed up. I tried to re-pierce it myself but obviously that didn't happen!
VERSE: Isaiah 41:13 " For I am the LORD your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you."
Comment: I probably wasn't meant to keep it anyway since it stayed sore the WHOLE 5 months. Should've prayed 1st, saved myself some pain.
STORY: So I was 17, had had my driver's license for months, and now I was ready to drive EVERYWHERE. My parents felt differently though and I was only allowed to drive to and from the mall (which was a mile or so away). I started going to the mall multiple times a week just so I could feel the freedom but going to the mall for weeks, quickly got boring. I decided that I wasn't really going to get in trouble if I visited friends that lived right by the mall. Then later it was friends a couple blocks away, then a mile or two away...little by little I found myself disobeying my parents with more ease. One day I decided to drive by my boyfriend's house and wave (he lived a couple miles away from the mall). That is a day that lives in infamy with my family. I drove by his place, honked and waved, turned up the radio and just loved the thrill of it all. Upon crossing a small, suburban intersection another car careened over the hill we were on and the fronts of our cars smashed (kind of making an X). He slammed on his breaks while I counter-steered right into a street sign. The frame of our little Plymouth Reliant was NEVER the same after that. I was obviously grounded but the punishment my parents gave me didn't come close to the torture I was to put myself through for months after that.
VERSE: Coll 3:20 "Children obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord."
Comment: Strict or not, I should've listened to my parents.
STORY: My family lived right across the street from our school and church some years back while I attended Kindegarten there. One day my teacher Mrs Koehlert told our class that we were all done for the day with our homework and congratulated us. Now being the efficient little thing that I was, I went straight to the back of the room, put on my coat and shoes and walked out the door. I walked through the parking lot and made it to the street when a hand grabbed me from behind. "Katie where are you going?!" Mrs Koehlert cried. I stated that I was done so now I was going home. Mrs Koehlert took me by the hand and walked me back to the Kindegarten building, telling me how that's not allowed even if I do live close by. When my mom came to get me an hour later, she and Mrs Koehlert had "a talk" about it. I was in trouble but I saw my mom stifling a smile...
VERSE: Deut. 6:6-7 "These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up."
Comment: Trust me, my mom walked and talked about commandments on the way home that day, AND the next.
STORY: Our family was driving down to Florida one summer and my brothers and I were playing games in the back seat. As my parents looked for exits and changed the radio channels, my brother Jonathan and I decided to play "Mercy". A game where you interlock fingers and hands and try to bend the other person's knuckles back until they say "mercy!" Well, knuckles were getting boring for us, so we moved onto pinching earlobes and then pinching noses. Jonathan made a fist and I let him place my nose, high up by the bridge, in between his first and second fingers as he squeezed. And he squeezed tighter and tighter and finally CRACK! And a little trickle of blood went down my face. Panic-stricken, my brothers told me not to tell mom and dad or we might turn around and drive home. So I took off my sock and held it against my nose and at the next rest stop I ran out and rinsed....it was SO sore for the rest of that vacation. And as a little momento of that incident, I have a bump on my nose where it was broken.
VERSE: Collosians 3:12 "Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience."
Comment: Errrr...yeah we will keep that in mind that next time we hang out.
STORY: My first summer working in youth ministry here in Rapid, the youth wanted to go up to Sheridan Lake. So we (the adult leaders) organized boats and skis and fishing...all sorts of fun in the sun. Well, after a few hours the kids wanted to go "cliff jumping" and as a new leader, I wanted to be a part of the group so I agreed to go also. Other camping teens were in the vicinity cliff jumping and diving (NOT smart!) on higher peaks than the one we were headed toward, so it didn't seem that scary....
As the youths jumped off the boats and swam to the rocks I looked up and thought: 'Oh, it's not that high--only looks like 10 ft up.' I followed in suit, up the rocks to the overhanging cliff to jump from, watching others jump with glee. I peered over the edge to look for rocks to dodge and then I saw how high up I was! All my body at once said "NO". After a minute or two , I was the last one on the edge and a single thought kept going through my head, "Man is NOT meant to jump off of anything, we're not monkeys!" After what felt like an eternity I finally started to run toward the edge but last minute my body froze and again shouted "NO!". But too late, rocks scratched the bottoms of my feet as I attempted to stop--and failed. I did not jump, I fell into the murky water below. And because I was so tense, I went down in a sitting position. The sound when I hit the water was brutal! Under the water I opened my eyes and saw a fish floating to the top next to me. I'm pretty sure I killed him. My t-bone was sore for a week!!!! And no, I have not gone cliff jumping since.
VERSE: John 21:7 "Then the disciple whom Jesus loved said to Peter, “It is the Lord!” As soon as Simon Peter heard him say, “It is the Lord,” he wrapped his outer garment around him (for he had taken it off) and jumped into the water."
Comment: I will not un-necessarily jump into water again, unless I see the Lord.
STORY: I worked in finance at a city hall before moving here and I always felt "out of the loop". Everyone else in that small office had known each other for years and I was the newbie. Now my former manager would come over to our dept every friday and say some joke. For me, they were NEVER funny but everyone else seemed to laugh like it was so great. So at the end of the day one Friday, I was talking with my co-workers, eating junior mints, when the boss came over. And as usual, she told a joke that wasn't very funny but since everyone else was laughing, I tilted my head back a gave a good, hard chuckle and !!!!! Some junior mints got caught in the back of my throat! I couldn't really breathe so my boss yelled for a police man to come over (PD was attached to our building). He started to Hemlich me, which wasn't working because the jmints were melting down my throat. After a few heaves, the policeman finally let me go and everyone in the office was just staring at me with The Big Eyes....I grabbed my purse and left so fast! Lungs coated with chocolate-minty nastiness. I was coughing up stuff for days.
VERSE: Lev. 19:36 Use honest scales and honest weights, an honest ephah[a] and an honest hin.[b] I am the LORD your God, who brought you out of Egypt.
Comment: I can't believe I made an even bigger fool of myself by not being HONEST and going with the crowd!